I Am Still Standing

I haven’t written in a while and honestly there hasn't been much to say because by the time I try to explain how I’m feeling, I’m feeling a different way. I have come quite a long way towards healing in the last month or so and I didn't even really notice it happening. That’s how it goes I guess…you just keep pushing yourself-doing your best, until you realize it’s moved you forward.

I ache for my son every day and sometimes I feel like I’m going to fall apart but I’m doing better. I hurt but I know that I am still so blessed…to have the love of my life next to me through the good and the bad, to have my family and the friends that have stuck around. I see life differently now and I don’t think that’s such a bad thing. I gave birth knowing that my baby wouldn't cry and that could have killed me but it didn't  I kissed him goodbye and that could have been the end for me, but it wasn't  I get up every day, I cook, I clean, I work, I love, and I live. I am still standing. I could stop talking about Sebastian, I could hide my grief and convince everyone that I've moved on but I won’t. My son deserves better than that. My son deserves to be remembered and that’s why I’m still standing. I stand to honor my son; I stand next to all of the other women across the world that have lost children in solidarity to break the silence so that no woman has to feel alone in this. I am a survivor and I am not alone.

A link to my story for anyone who hasn't read it.

To hear other women’s stories today or to share your own for International Bereaved Mother’s Day on Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest use the tag #Iamstillstanding