a new direction

So, this is a strange feeling. I feel a little bit hopeful and hell of a lot more determined than I have in a while. I’m ready to start doing what I need to for me and not just what I feel like I should. I quit my job today and even though it’s scary doing something so drastic, I feel great. I’m going to try to get on somewhere part time because running a house + a full time job just wasn't working for me. My house looked like a tornado hit it and I needed some “me” time…time away from work and the house. I’m actually starting to feel like I have friends again and it’d be nice to have some time for them too. I need to start feeling like I’m living instead of just going through the motions. I feel like I've been asleep the majority of these last few months. I hate giving up full time work when I know that so many are struggling just to get a job but I did my best and it didn't work out so it’s time to move on.

(Photo: Getty Images Stock)

I’m going to start working out. Those words have come out of my mouth several times lately and I never seem to stick to it … I’m getting a team together for a March of Dimes walk in honor of Sebastian. The walk will be in September so I’d like to be in better shape by then. I am planning on getting up at 4:30 and heading to the park. This weather has made me yearn to be moving so I think that’s a good sign that I’m on the right track. I promised myself after Sebastian died that this would make me a better person and I've yet to really do anything towards that goal other than making it through the days. I want to live a happy, healthy life and I want to help people. I want my life to honor him and I’m done making excuses. I am the only one that can change my life and I’m on my way.