Let's Talk About Prince (from a loss mother and huge fan)

I know many people are tired of hearing about Prince but I can't stop thinking about what a big deal his death has been for me.

Prince Nelson Rogers was (obviously) an amazing talent who helped show the world that gender isn't black and white (or blue and pink). He also wrote, sang, danced, acted and much more. He was one of the few living legends we have been fortunate to have in our lifetime. He never had the normal scandals celebrities seem to attract after a few years in the spotlight-sex scandals, addiction, rehab, to name a few. He meant a lot to so many people and with his sudden passing I believe he is touching even more.

I wasn't always a fan, it wasn't music I heard growing up, my mother listened to country and my older brother listened to a variety of music I wasn't that into but when I started branching out on my own as a teen I discovered the magic of the Purple One. I have had Purple Rain on DVD since I was 18 and Scott and I have been singing along to his music since we've been together. I will miss knowing that such a bright light was shining somewhere in the world. But, something that hit me so hard with his death was learning more about how another death shaped his life. See, Prince had a wife once and son. His son's name was Boy Gregory Nelson and he died a week after he was born. The loss, along with a miscarriage shortly after, ripped his marriage apart.  He had many loved ones and though he did marry again shortly after his divorce was final, it didn't last. He ultimately died "alone" by society's definition. He never had any more children. He was a man who was wounded beyond what most people can even imagine.

I have been incredibly lucky to go on to have my rainbow daughter after the loss of my son and to have another child on the way but there are so many in the loss community who never get another "chance" at parenting here on Earth and it is a heartbreaking reality that no one really wants to talk about. My relationship with my children's father is sometimes hard to maintain and while I know that our loss brought us closer together short term, I can't help but wonder how much it's a contributing factor in those times when it feels like we would be better off apart. Can you really move on after such a traumatic loss? I have accepted it, I have forgiven myself and others that I feel contributed but I will never be the same and I know Scott is changed as much as I am.

Prince Rogers Nelson with former wife, Mayte Garcia.

Prince Rogers Nelson was a musical genius but he was also a human being so no matter what comes out from his autopsy I will always adore him. He was,  after all, part of this exclusive club that no one wants to be a member of and the #1 rule of Child Loss Club is you love and support all members. We follow this rule because we know what it is to have a huge part of you  die with your child and come back just enough to keep playing the part of your old life. I'm sure Prince was at peace, I'm sure he had a good life but I imagine he was happy to get back to his son as well.